TITLE: Cruisin' Along with the Ole Faceman
WARNINGS: Slight sexual innuendo, nothing intense. This is a pre-cruise fic (that cruise with Dirk that happened a while ago)
STORY TYPE: Script format
Category - AU, Humour
Length - One-Off
DISCLAIMER: The characters are property of Cannell and company.
BA: What d'ya think your doin' sucka?
FM: Getting ready for my fans of course.
HA: You've been 'getting ready' for the last four hours.
FM: You are always knocking perfection. Besides, I'm going to enjoy this event!
HM: How come you get to go on a cruise, anyway?
FM: Becuase I arranged it, Murdock. I deserve a break from fleeing from the MP's, seeing my Corvette smashed up in a million pieces and always going in the front door.
BA: So what do we do while yer sunnin' yerself on that ship?
FM: Well, Hannibal is starring in the new Aquamaniac movie, The Aquamaniac vs The Mutant Toothbrush. You BA, are assigned to looking after Murdock .....
BA: Say what !!????!!!
BA: I aint lookin' after this crazy sucka while you meet ya fans! It aint fair!".
HA: Are you sure you've thought this through, Lieutenant? What happens if Decker tries to grab you?
FM: I have my secret identity .....
HM: Ooooo, what is it????
FM: Now if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret identity now would it?
HA: Oh go on!! We're dying of curiosity here!!
FM: Oh, alright. If you insist. For a week I am not Faceman. Instead I shall be known as Dirk Benedict.
HA: Hmmm, nice name. Can I have it?
FM: No way! I thought of it first and I'm keeping it!
HA: But its rather nice. Can I have it when your done on this cruise?
FM: No! Jeez! Think of your own name for once!
HA: Yeah, yeah. Like Georgy!!!?!!
FM: What's wrong with George, anyway?
HA: Nothin'. It just don't sound very macho. And there's a gay popstar called George too ...
HM: Hmmm, I kinda like him ....
BA: Say, WHAT!!??!!
HM: I said, I tried a church hymn. But my voice sounded like an alien coughing up fur balls
HA: Have you seen what the weather's doin', Face?
HM: Its snowing! Its snowing! Why there has to be several minches of snow here!
FM: Its not snowing, Murdock - mind you - looks like a storm might be brewing out there on the waves of endless wetness. And what is 'minches'?
HM: Private joke, Facey. Don't worry about it.
FM: This idle chit chat is very cool guys, but I have to make a move. Can't be late ....
HA: Take care. And tell Jipster, Merry and Coke that I WAS really in the chat room that night.
FM: Sure thing. Any messages to anyone BA, Murdock??
BA: I got a bone to pick with that writer Hannurdock. She writes millions of spec's about us.
HA: Shhhhhh, she might take offence. You know what spec writers are like.
BA: Don't care .....
FM: Murdock? Any messages?
HM: Yup! Tell them "The time is right for seeing my plight. Alone am I with my head held high. I think of them and sing REM. To the VA I say howdy, before BA gets all rowdy!".
BA: I do not!!!
FM: *g* I'll be sure to pass that on, Murdock. See you guys.
HA: Take care kid.
HM: Look after our fans!
BA: Yeah! No chattin' up the women now!
FM: *VBG* Me? Never BA. Chow!
THE END (Continued on the Cruise ....)